Reality is for people with no imagination
Rehab Is for Quitters
Finally 21, and Legally Able to Do Everything I've Been Doing Since
15.
Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with the software.
I'm
out of estrogen and I've got a gun.
Discourage inbreeding - Ban Country Music.
They
call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken.
Ham
and eggs - A day's work for a chicken; A lifetime commitment for a
pig.
The
trouble with life is there's no background music.
Quoting one is plagiarism. Quoting many is research.
My
husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was
God, and I didn't.
Life is sexually transmitted.
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive, anyway.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Advice is free: The right answer will cost plenty.
Everyone is entitled to my opinion.
I
used to be indecisive; now I'm not sure.
Hard
work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Despite the cost of living, it's still popular.
You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
Clones are people two.
I
just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.
Very funny, Scotty. Now beam up my clothes
I
don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
I
know what you're thinking, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
Some
people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them.
Eat
Well, Stay Fit, Die Anyway.
Friends help you move house. Real friends help you move bodies.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
I
wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Love: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.
Why
is "abbreviation" such a long word?
All
generalizations are false.
I wasnt born a bitch, its men like you that made me this way
I'm
not a bitch, I am THE bitch!
Men
are not pigs. Pigs are sweet, intelligent, sensitive, clean animals.
I
love animals- they taste great.
Where there's a will, I wanna be in it.
Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
Never let school get in the way of your EDUCATION.
Hard
work never hurt anybody, but then I figured why take the risk.
I'd
give up chocolate, but I'm no quitter
Everyone makes mistakes, that why pencil have erasers
What
do you call kinky sex with chocolate? S&M&M
What
do Kodak film have in common with condoms? Both capture the moment.
What's the ultimate in rejection? When you're masturbating and your
hand falls asleep.
There's no business like show business, but there's no job like a
blowjob.
If
con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If
7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on
the doors?
Obsession is the word lazy people give to those of us who are
motivated.
I
have PMS. Therefore I can legally kill you.
When
in doubt- shup up!
If
they dont have chocolate in heaven, I AINT GOING!
God
must love stupid people- he made so many.
I
got kicked outta Scouts for eating a Brownie.
Im a bomb technition, if you see me running, try to keep up.
Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
