How do crazy
people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path.
How do you get
holy water?
Boil the hell out of it.
What do Eskimos
get from sitting on the ice too long?
Polaroids.
What do prisoners
use to call each other?
Cell phones.
What do you call
a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick.
What do you call
cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho Cheese.
What do you call
Santa's helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.
What do you call
four bull fighters in quicksand?
Quatro sinko.
What do you get
from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
What do you get
when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite.
What has four
legs, is big, green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree would kill
you?
A pool table.
What is a zebra?
26 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
What lies at the
bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What's the
difference between an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer?
The taste.
What's the
difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.
Where do you find
a no legged dog?
Right where you left him.
Where do you get
virgin wool from?
Ugly sheep.
Why are there so
many Smiths in the phone book?
They all have phones.
Why do bagpipers
walk when they play?
They're trying to get away from the noise.
Why do gorillas
have big nostrils?
Because they have big fingers.
